Peas

      Here's the thing about peas, which I really hated as a child, and only merely dislike now unless they are fresh or frozen and cooked very slightly. They are dark and dreary. 
      Imagine you are a child like I was: You can't even chew them because they mush up in your mouth. They taste like army green or dark greyish purple. They are like dirty hair or gray hairy bugs. They are like low notes in a minor key with a few wrong notes. Peas are not so bad by themselves, but the thought of them can make a child gag. 
      If you spill them on the floor even the dog, who will eat them, doesn't snarf them up, so you get caught dropping them on the floor. If you mush them up under the plate, Mom finds it in the dish water, which she finds ugly, (but not so ugly as you would find them if you actually ate them). Peas are grown-up food, because grown-ups have lost the sensitive perception to hate them. 
      Let's face it, most vegetables taste like their color. It's that color/sensory perception thing that has been studied scientifically in many ways. Green beans are okay when their green color is somewhat appealing. Carrots are okay when orange is considered okay. Cauliflower is not okay when they are perceived to be dirty green. A grey-green color leaches out of broccoli, cabbage, and brussel sprouts. And turnips are the color of dishwater. Corn is a bright, usually safe yellow, just as tomatoes are a bright, usually safe red.
      Peas, to a child who hates them, are not worth anything. The nutritional value in peas is totally negated by the trauma of eating them. 
      Mommies trying to be smart try to package "nutritional" foods in cookies, brownies, or pizza. It sounds deceitful to me, and if, when I was a child, I found peas in my brownie, I would never eat a brownie again!

     

5 or 50 Kinds of Drivel on FaceBook That Can Drive You Crazy

         
          Most of the posts I see on FaceBook make me cringe. Some of them make me want to scream.
Then there are the posts that offer motivational sayings. They never motivate me to do anything except to avoid posting similar wisdoms. Many of them post a political viewpoint. I won't even post an example - we've all seen them, and they are disturbing to many of us. 
          Other posts are express a religious viewpoint (almost always Christian) or implore the reader to pray for something. Worse yet, they might say "Share if You Love God." I don't think God cares if I share such a message on Facebook, so I don't share those posts.
         Every child belonging in some way to a FaceBook member is the smartest, the most beautiful, the most athletic, or the most charming, of course. If that isn't enough, readers are constantly reminded why we love our daughters, our sons, our parents and our grandparents, and we are expected to share those reasons if we agree. I wonder how many people who disagree share anyway? Some, I imagine. I might agree with the posts, but don't share what I think is drivel. 

        There are posts that document a weight-loss battle. "I Lost 7 oz. today" or "I ran around the block this morning in the RAIN." Even more ridiculous are the ones that list how many inches he or she has lost on various parts of the body.  I'm sorry, but I don't want to know how much some guy has lost around his thighs.        
         Other posts offer to test my IQ (I already know what it is), my personality, my grammar, which Star Trek character I am, or what city in California I should represent. If there is anyone who believes these tests have any merit, trust me, they are not scientific. I could never be Spock. Then there are the posts that offer motivational sayings. They never motivate me to do anything except to avoid posting similar wisdoms.

       The largest percentage of posts tell me what I supposedly do not know, or a reaction I will have.

• 15 Things You Didn't Know About (insert name of a movie or TV show). This is stated as though I needed to know these 15 things. I've actually looked at a couple of things and I did, for some strange reason, know about 8 of those things.
• 10 Celebrities who have pronounced signs of aging (don't we all), or 8 Celebrities who have had dental work (thank heavens).
• 20 Ways to Improve Your Eating Habits. I haven't looked at this one, and I suppose this is the one that I should read.
•  A story that will make me cry. Why would I want to cry?
•  10 Scary Facts that Will Make You Pee in Your Pants. Oh, good! I just logged onto FaceBook hoping I would find something that would make me pee in my pants. I wonder, should I read them all at one sitting, or should I read one a day?
•  20 Ways that Dogs are Better Than Cats, or 20 Ways that Cats are Better Than Dogs. I suppose I should expect to someday also find 20 Ways that Monkeys are Better Than Pigs.

So - after all this complaining, why am I on FaceBook? Because there are some posts that I do like to read, including funny stories, information about my community, information about a friend or relative I haven't seen for months, some recipes, and occasionally an off-color joke or cartoon (an admission I didn't want to make, but I'm trying to be honest).

I joined FaceBook because I think it's a nice way to connect with friends and relatives that I seldom see. I like the private message capabilities of FaceBook because it's often easier than finding someone's email address. Finally, it's a nice break from concentration and tasks of the day.

Sometimes It Comes to This...

 A very nice, cheery friend of mine posted this today on social media:
OK--so I'm in a WalMart today--a lady riding in a store electric cart decide to cut me off in an isle (I had nowhere to go)--she looked Mean!! She said get the F---- out of my way--Now!! Well I'm not in a very good mood in the first place, so her attitude kind of ticked me off. I said, could you wait your turn--she said--Do you want me to kick your A--!! I said, well, you gotta get off that seat first, but ok--bring it on!! I finally just laughed at her. Now that really made her mad--she said she was going to slap that smile off my face. Now I am really ticked, she is not going to mess with my new teeth!!! She had a really little man right behind her--he said to her--why don't you calm down honey. she grabbed his arm and he was toast!! I kept going----

Oldpeopleitis

-->

        I had a friend tell me that she feared she was already suffering from oldpeopleitis. Oldpeopleitis is a chronic, terminal condition for which there are aches and pains that cannot be otherwise diagnosed, nor is there any specific treatment. A symptom of oldpeoplitis is celebrating Sunday, a day of very literal rest, four of the seven days of the week. When an oldpeopleitis sufferer is asked what he or she did for the day, the answer is always, "one thing." Mealtime at home is a non-event, but daytime trips to the bathroom at home are an Event.

        Oldpeopleitis occurs in many forms, but there are two prominent strains: oldladyitis and oldmanitis. Oldladyitis is often preceded by a loss of height, and a tendency to blurt out opinions at times when they are unwelcome. Oldmanitis has symtoms of eating food of any age that can be found in the refrigerator, and sitting in an overstuffed chair with eyes closed. Getting up in the middle of the night and heading for the bathroom may be symptomatic of both strains.

        Further evidence of oldpeopleitis can be found in pets as they age. Oldkittyitis has some similarities to oldmanitis because of the tendency to sleep 23 hours a day. Oldcanineitis is more subtle in that the sufferer doesn’t complain, but merely begins to limit activities. This is rarely found in oldpeoplitis.

        I too, have wondered about having oldpeopleitis, but have remained comforted by the fact that i don't have all of the symptoms, and my assumption that it generally occurs after oldbesity. So far…