Groan

        When I was in my 50's, I had both knees replaced. It made be remember that my feet do not work.
         Getting out of bed always reminds me that I will never again be free of aches and pains. But then, as I take my pills that ease some of those aches and pains, it occurs to me that the goal of each day is to see how well I can appear to feel good. It's not just old age, because many of the kinks in my body started years ago.
          My feet started hurting when I was chasing my toddlers around the house. I remember buying "old lady shoes" in order to have some comfort. Athletic shoes were not on the market at that time for people other than those in professional sports. I think the last pair of spike heels I owned were the ones I wore at my wedding. Before that, I wore high heels to work every day. It should have been enough for me to be skinny and somewhat attractive. But, alas, it wasn't. I just had to add those spikes.
           My knees are occasionally irritating, but the current medical forecast is for replacement hips. I'm not going to worry about that. As long as I can fold up into a sitting position, I think I'll be just fine. 
          My ankles were in bad shape even before my feet hurt, probably because I was a klutzy kid and was always turning them. My knees started hurting when I was in my 40's. 
          Now, my teeth hurt, my eyesight is not so sharp as it once was, and my hands and arms bruise as fast as food stains form on my shirt. My ears ring until I put on my hearing aids. The enviable news is that I have had no more than three or four headaches in my lifetime.
          Most of the health issues I have turn out to be arthritis, and for that I am grateful. My father had rheumatoid arthritis and rarely complained. He finally moved off his acreage when he was 87, but I was told that the day before he moved he was driving post holes and setting a fence. I need to be like him, although I think I'll forget the post hole digging.
           I need to stop complaining. I anticipate that I will have 20 or 30 more years of this. It shouldn't be about how bad I feel, but about how good I feel. Many people have physical conditions that are much worse. Each morning I need to celebrate that I actually can get out of bed.
         

How to Know You're a "Senior Citizen."

        The term "senior citizen" is just silly. First, in order to be a "senior citizen," one must first be a citizen of something. I suppose that a person could make a case for anyone to be a citizen of any kind of political/geographical organization. Second, the term "senior" implies some kind of priority, and I'm not certain that older "citizens" are placed in highest priority by members of younger generations, at least in our culture.
          Here are clues to help you decide if you are a "senior citizen."
 1.  You don't like FaceBook, but go to it every day. You have lots of young parents as friends, just to laugh at their parenting skills.
 2.  If you're a woman, you wear 4" heels just to show off - or you wear ugly shoes just to walk.
 3.  Employees at places that offer "senior discounts" no longer apologize for asking if you qualify for the S.C. discount. In fact, they no longer ask, and often just tell you that you've received the discount.
 4.  Your hairdo is designed for ease of care, not for improvement of appearance.
 5.  You silently respond to a young person's opinion with "I can't wait until you get to be my age."
 6.  Your iPod contains recorded books.
 7.  Your doctor is a kid.
 8.  Your biggest regret at a reunion of high school friends is the number of old people that attended.
 9.  You discovered that "thongs" are not shoes.
10.  You know, with absolute certainty, that Elvis is dead and the moon landing really happened.
11.  Your face and hands have uber freckles, and you have never once obsessed about them.
12.  Admission that you are old came on suddenly as a surprise. 
13.  At least one spot on your body hurts, itches, grows unwanted hair, is lumpy, or bends oddly.
14.  You've decided that the best wrinkle reduction approach for your face would be pleats. 
15.  Each day you accomplish one thing on your to do list.