How to Know You're a "Senior Citizen."

        The term "senior citizen" is just silly. First, in order to be a "senior citizen," one must first be a citizen of something. I suppose that a person could make a case for anyone to be a citizen of any kind of political/geographical organization. Second, the term "senior" implies some kind of priority, and I'm not certain that older "citizens" are placed in highest priority by members of younger generations, at least in our culture.
          Here are clues to help you decide if you are a "senior citizen."
 1.  You don't like FaceBook, but go to it every day. You have lots of young parents as friends, just to laugh at their parenting skills.
 2.  If you're a woman, you wear 4" heels just to show off - or you wear ugly shoes just to walk.
 3.  Employees at places that offer "senior discounts" no longer apologize for asking if you qualify for the S.C. discount. In fact, they no longer ask, and often just tell you that you've received the discount.
 4.  Your hairdo is designed for ease of care, not for improvement of appearance.
 5.  You silently respond to a young person's opinion with "I can't wait until you get to be my age."
 6.  Your iPod contains recorded books.
 7.  Your doctor is a kid.
 8.  Your biggest regret at a reunion of high school friends is the number of old people that attended.
 9.  You discovered that "thongs" are not shoes.
10.  You know, with absolute certainty, that Elvis is dead and the moon landing really happened.
11.  Your face and hands have uber freckles, and you have never once obsessed about them.
12.  Admission that you are old came on suddenly as a surprise. 
13.  At least one spot on your body hurts, itches, grows unwanted hair, is lumpy, or bends oddly.
14.  You've decided that the best wrinkle reduction approach for your face would be pleats. 
15.  Each day you accomplish one thing on your to do list.